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Normally when you get a bad dream in the middle of the night you would wake up, get a glass of water and even go use the bathroom before you try and go back to sleep. But rarely do we find the effort to fire up your PC and blog about it. So if your reading this post right now this is some exclusive stuff. Some of that raw energy I mentioned I would try to incorporate in to my blogging.
So I had a bad dream that woke me up at 7:07am and the worse thing I could possibly do is try to over analyze and interpret why even the dream occurred. I say that because off about 2 hours of sleep my brain is so tired that whatever I try to think of will either be irrelevant or I’m just going to forget later. The only thing I think I should do is to try and not let it become any bigger than it is and that is just a bad dream.
I sometimes talk and listen about dreams in general with my friends. We would discuss what the premise may have been and try to interpret if there is any meaning to what we dream of. Often we suggest how real the dreams feel and that they are only a pre-cursor as to what’s to come in the future.
I won’t get in to the specific details of what the dream was about because it would be a tad much. What I can say is it kinda scares me to think that I can even be close to that state of being in my nightmare. I was a different person than what I really am about and believe in. I wasn’t a happy person and let’s just say it wasn’t a place I imagine myself being in my conscious world.
You can’t really control your dreams can you? Your sub-conscious good or bad actually allows your mind to really think and let go without any restrictions that would be attached if this was going on consciously. You know that I can’t think of this because I don’t want to sound (insert your politically incorrect adjective here) feeling. I guess thats a good thing that comes out of dream world but it’s only good depending on how you interpret it and see it for what it is.
So the only thing that were able to control is our conscious world and the actions we take are very real. So right now I’m going to get that glass of water, go use the little boy’s room and do my best to fall back asleep. I just hope that this bad dream gets put in to a little box and gets buried deep deep in to my sub-conscious never to be found again. Wish me well and wish me luck.
Good night or should I say good morning.
DB
I realize I hold a lot of shit in. I keep it bottled because maybe I’m scared of the truth that may turn up. Perhaps I over analyze what others may think of me if I said what I was going through. Possibly I have this complex where I feel weak if I vent and I have to continually be strong for the people I care about deeply.
The last point feels very real. I feel this pressure that I can’t let anyone know if I’m feeling down. I gotta stay strong no matter what. It kinda sucks because I need a break from having to stay strong. I do also have complications in my life that I wish I can share.
I have feelings and emotions just like everyone else.
I am Human too.
DB
It’s been a weird few days lately and I think it’s starting to catch up to me. I’m trying to stay strong as always but it feels a lot harder than normal to do. I’m doing my best to feel somewhat sane.
I feel trapped. I feel this way because basketball the last couple days haven’t been what they use to so it’s been real tough trying to escape lately. I just feel so trapped, I wish I could just get up and go sometimes. Where is irrelevent at the moment. But it’s so tough when you have responsibilities your not exactly free from.
I figure this will blow over in a few days and things will be back to normal. Just in time too, when the weather is suppose to be getting warmer. I can’t wait for spring so I can lose the weight of layered clothing I have to pack on to my frame just to go from point A to point B. It’s such a drag but hey that’s Canada for you.
Like I said, it should blow over and I’ll get some justice and hopefully get what I deserve.
DB
P.S. I actually feel a little better bloggin it out and my offer still stands to “escape” from reality for a brief moment in time.
It’s just you, your team and your pride….
These should be the fundamental reasons why you partake in competitive sports period.
When your not getting paid to play the game you love, it’s a lot easier to put things in to perspective. Your not comparing how many zero’s are in your pay cheque or worried about your playing time and how it will effect your stats or worse off your ego. But if you are worried about those frivolous things then you need to get check yourself because it’s just plain stupid.
Yes statistics are sexy and were attracted to the next big stat line but if you drop 50 and lose where’s the fun in that? Go ask Kobe every time he drops 50 plus how it feels when they leave with a loss? I bet every time he’ll say he’s disappointed in how the game went for his team.
What is often not publicized are the contributions are the guys who do the little things who help make the team win. For instance, at the Y when I play pickup ball, I’m more selective on who I run with as a team. I do this because there’s absolutely no point selecting two random guys you’ve never played with and expect to win consistently. Maybe you get lucky but most often times it’s a quick run and then your off again waiting for your next turn. Last Thursday was the exact opposite. My team and I were on an absolute run for two hours straight easily and you can chalk it up to team chemistry.
Playing against all kinds of teams big, small, young, old, quick and strong it didn’t matter that day because all of them had nothing on us. I really think this bothered a few of the teams who were sitting that we were winning so much. I know for sure they were getting frustrated and this is what made it so worthwhile. I could hear them on the bench yelling at there guys “GO AFTER HIM HE’S A LIABILITY”. So they did try to post me up at will on each possession, scoring with relative ease in some cases. But you can only go to the well so many times and when I eventually stop you it’s our chance to turn the game around.
The funniest thing I heard during our game was my check talking to the bench “HE’S A SHOOTER?!?!?! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME” right after I pump faked him up in the air and took my one dribble jumper *swish*. I guess if they had all the time on the bench to disect my game to figure I was such a liability on defense they forgot to know that I have a pretty decent jump shot. Or that time when this kid trying to guard me who was trying to get in my head all game, I drove him baseline and 1 for the win. He got pretty quiet after that real quick if you ask me.
Winning gives you an ultimate feeling of confidence. Winning gives you the swagger you never thought you once had. But lastly winning gives you the respect that nobody else would give you.
DB
